Needing You

I lay crying, bleeding on the floor.

While my heart beggs for mercy.

You arent the only heart that's hurt.

I wish that you could just see.

I didn't choose him over you,

You've never made me mad.

I didn't push you out,

But now I'm missing you so bad.

I never left you out in the cold,

Somehow you stumbled out.

Somehow on your own.

And now my heart's a-shout.

I wont blame you, cuz I know,

A lot of it's my fault.

I want it back the way it was.

Now my wounds are covered in salt.

It feels like you left,

But I know it's probably just me.

My heart is reaching for you,

I wish you were with me.

The tears fall fast from my eyes,

As I read what you have wrote.

This is all the pain that I can take,

So I leave this little note.

Just so you know how much you meant,

And all that you still mean.

And hopefully one day you'll see,

How much I needed you with me.

How much I needed you by my side,

I tried hard to give you space.

But the more that was given,

The more tears rolled down my face.

Every tear was shed for you,

My warrior, my best friend.

No matter what it feels like,

I'll be with you till the end.

Im so so very sorry,

I really just want you back.

My heart screams for mercy,

And the world soon goes black.

I bleed from every wound,

With silence all around.

Waiting for you to come,

Waiting to be found.

A Game of Waiting

My path is laid before me,

Mistakes have closed the doors,

So maybe I'll give up,

And lay here on the floor.

I see nothing more to do.

Can't change the past right now.

I finally let you win,

Now let me tell you how.

While your cozy and sleeping,

Warm and in a soft bed.

I'll be sitting here,

Wishing I were dead.

I may just take a rope,

Tie a noose around my neck,

Kick over the chair.

Why not? What the heck.

Or I could slit my wrist,

With that icy metal blade.

Let my pain bleed out,

I'm done playing your maid.

If I found the gun.

I could put it to my brain.

Pull the trigger fast,

The quicker my life will drain.

Simply put, there's water.

So easily to drown.

And as I kill myself and sin,

The horns become my crown.

Or maybe I could wait,

And just say "Up yours!"

Wait for Karma to knock you down.

So you can kiss the floor.

Painful Truths

I want the truth but I dont know,

If I can handle it any more.

I've been hit from both sides,

And taken every blow.

My pride is wounded,

Beyond compare.

And sometimes I wonder,

If you really care.

Have you ever wondered,

How much I changed,

Just so I,

Could fit in the frame.

So much of me is lost,

I don't know me anymore.

But I can't change back,

You're higher in score.

I am the water,

While you're the rock.

I'm the moving hands,

On the same old clock.

I want to know,

What you have to say.

But will the truth,

Help me find my way?

I'm begining to wonder,

If I should just give in.

It just isn't working.

And my patience is thin.

So here me now,

And give me a break.

There's only so much I can give,

And only so much you can take.

I'm tired and hurt,

And don't know what to do,

And I cry as I see that I;

Just can't fill these shoes.

You set the standard,

The bar is too high,

So help me here,

I don't want a goodbye.

Need You Here

Wrap your arms around me,

You belong with me.

Hold me close and love me,

And soon you will see.

I beg you to stay,

Hold you back, dont go.

The world inside my mind...?

You dont even want to know.

But you can't leave me here,

All alone and cold,

In the black of memories,

From newest to the old.

I can't face my fears alone.

My friend will you stay.

And baby will you love me,

To keep the fears away.

Both, please hold me.

It's all that I shall need.

To be strong I need you,

Need you here with me.

Heartbreaker With Him.

I'm not your dream come true.

So leave me be, just shoo.

Get out, get gone Romeo,

Leave me now, let me go.

I'm not ur perfect princess,

In a pretty purple dress.

I'm not your Juliet,

So just forget all of it.

I belong to him forever.

And I wont leave him, never.

So just get it through your head.

Not a tear will you shed.

Yes, you are my friend,

Until the very end.

But can't you just see,

That's all you'll ever be.

Tearing Apart

I'm drowning in my tears,

Being pulled apart from either side.

I refuse to choose,

So why make me cry?

I understand the jealousy,

And the disagreements too.

But get it together now,

I'm staying with both of you.

Can't you see this fighting,

Actually really hurts,

I don't know what to do,

As I cry and curse.

I love you both, I do.

So very, very much.

Please don't make me choose,

So no more anger and fuss.

I feel like a rag doll,

Held in tiny toddler fists.

Being torn apart, in half.

I just want this to quit.

I want my friend, my sister,

To stay by my side.

I want him in my arms,

And both in my mind.

I dont just want one to give in,

It solves nothing at all.

Figure it out, work it out.

Before I slip and fall.

It's all up to you,

Find a way to fuse,

So none of us,

Not one of us lose.

It feels like my heart is tearing,

Neither I can leave behind.

So someone stop this now, get it!

Before I loose my mind.

Hidden in the Rain.

The rain keeps pouring.

The tears keep falling.

The pain keeps comming.

And I keep dying.



The sun is missing.

The day's are passing.

The clouds are comming.

And I keep trying.



The nights are longer.

The alcohol's stronger.

I try and ponder;

Why I keep falling.



The years grow older.

The winters are colder.

Pain keeps me sober.

And I keep smiling.



But behind the smile,

Hidden under chest and shirt,

Are the tears I don't cry,

And the deepest pain I hurt.

Waiting

Doesn't life feel like it's a mess?

There's no possible hope to posess?

There doesn't ever seem a way?

The sun is covered, ever single ray.

The seas are too large to swim across.

And the path is covered with trees and moss.

It's just too much to go by.

And to the world you're being shy.

You hold back to keep things sane.

But nothing will ever be the same.

It doesn't seem fair does it now?

It was a good show, time for bows.

It's time to move on when the curtains close.

This is the path that you chose.

You cant go back and start anew.

So just for now you'll be blue.

The storms will rage and the roads are slick.


There's time's you'll get fed up with it.





But trust me when I say again,


The sun will come, no more will it rain.

Held

It must have been the first time,

I truely lay in your arms.

You'd kiss me tenderly,

And blind me with your charms.



Held tight in your embrace.

It felt so very right.

My mind soothed over,

As day turned into night.



In your arms I'm unafraid.

Never scared in your hold.

I'm protected from every fear,

Whether it's new or old.



Safe, warm, happy, and loved.

It's really how I feel.

When I'm held by you,

My world is crystal clear.



Exhaustion washes over me,

The fears don't make a peep.

I'm in your arms once again.

And it's here I finally sleep.

Morning Gael's Cry

New tears wet my cheeks,

As the morn bade me wake.

This day does not in end sound good.

Forever it shall take.



Take my mind and sanity.

Take away my strength.

Take away my courage,

To travel any length.



The scene is layed before me,

A whisper through the air.

The blood and water have been shed,

But there shant ever be a care.



For this world is harsh and cruel,

In many more ways than one.

So wash these tears from my eyes,

And Please bring back the sun.



Light up the given night,

With something like a moon.

And releive me from the shadows,

And wake me up so soon.



Save me from this nightmare.

It is all that I shall ask.

Lady Moon please spare me.

Just this little, simple task.



For if I'm left here with no help,

Surely I will die.

Pass away and soon forget,

My plea, my reason why.

Dinning Table.

Here, let's set the table.

The dinner of life.

There's a silver plate,

And a gold knife.



There is a fork,

As well as a spoon

Any can kill,

If the meal isn't soon.



There's a bowl,

That's full of hate.

And my heart,

Resides on the plate.



There's a rose,

That will burst into flame,

This wont last,

It's all the same.



There's a cup,

Overflowing with hope.

But the cup will empty,

As soon as you choke.



The feast is layed out,

As it's supposed to be.

And beside the dish with my heart,

Is a note, "Don't kill me."



Just sit and stay,

And don't eat,

Watch me live.

Watch each beat.



I give myself to you,

Helplessly on your platter,

And if you eat my heart,

None of this will matter.

Find Someone Else

I'm not ever looking back.

Here! I'm done, done with that.



Not turning my head around.

I wont lay here, broken, on the ground.



Look to the sky, tell me what you see.

And angel and her wings, can you tell it's me?



Give up already, I'm not going home.

This road was given for my feet to roam.



Don't give me excuses, just let me go.

I'm better off just on my own.



Flying on my wings, floating away.

Find someone else to lie to, to say:



"I love you, please be mine."

I'm gone. I'm leaving. Til the end of time.

Your Price

The phone dropped from my grip.

When I saw you were done with it.



I knew something was up with you.

Dredding what I knew was true.



Why didn't I connect it before,

It was laying in front of me on the floor.



Waiting for me to walk over it.

And waiting for me to throw a fit.



But you know I wont, the decision is yours.

I cant stop you, fix it, or give you 'what for's.



I know the result of this, it isnt nice.

But for this choice there's always a price.



I'm going to give hugs, bow, then walk away.

Because this is yours and your price to pay.

GET OUT

You left me long ago.

I don't want you back.

Don't want to see your face.

It's a simple fact.



You intrude in my house.

You better learn fast.

I'm not little anymore.

I'm done with the past.



Accept me as I am.

Or get out of my face.

I'm not changing for you.

I rule this place.



I'll kick you out the door,

Look you in the eye,

Tell you just how I hate you,

And wave a final goodbye.

Please

Night takes away the light,

I'm left helpless on the floor.

The shadows dance around me.

I can't take it anymore.

The dreams start to fade,

What happened to the light?

Why am I all alone?

What didn't I do write?

I got caught up in another.

A wicked battle show.

Screaming where I lay.

How was I supposed to know?

I beg for this unmerciful pain,

To disapear; to leave me be.

But there's a hand at my throat.

I can't speak. I can't breathe.

Let me die. Let this end.

I'll get down on my knees.

I beg. Just let me go.

Release me now. Please.... Please.

Baby Sweet

Beautiful baby,

Cuddled tight.

Little hands,

Ever-so slight.

Little baby,

So loved.

Stars smile,

From above.

Pretty baby,

Welcome here.

Loving baby,

Baby dear.

Cute baby,

Little feet.

Sleep baby,

Dreams sweet.

No Chance

I will do what,

I think is right.

I wont go down,

Without a hell of a fight.

They say the longest lasting,

Is the strong and the bold.

But I say that sometimes the weakest,

Is the last to let go of its hold.

Your pride will keep you standing.

Held high night and day.

But with that high of pride,

There is so much more to pay.

People only see of me,

What I choose to show.

But behind this smile mine, is;

More pain than you'll ever know.

So hold me tight but loosly.

This is nothing but a fact.

That if I turn and walk away.

There's no chance I'm comming back.

Count the Scars

You tore me apart, every little bit.

I thought you loved me, but I guess I slipped.

You left me bleeding on the floor,

I watched in pain as you closed the door.

When I'm finally back on my feet.

I walk through life numb, repeat and repeat.

School is torture when I see you with her,

But slowly the past becomes but a blurr.

I forget the reasons I love and hate you so,

I forgot when you left and why you had to go.

It's a little easier to get by these days, having forgot,

How you made me feel and how my breath caught.

And just when I think I've forgotten who you are,

I look back at my heart and count every scar.

The scars so deep that they'll never heal,

And all this pain is all I'll ever feel.

I thought I pushed you from my mind,

But it's nothing but pain again that I find.

Why won't the scars just leave; erase.

Let someone else please take your place.

And yet when I've someone who loves me and calls,

I'm now not the only one who can count the scars.

On My Own and Alone

As I gaze into the distance,

I begin to wonder; to dream.

Is someone really out there?

Who will come and rescue me?



It all feels like a dream.

A hell-born nightmare.

That leaves me begging for release,

Leaves me begging for air.



I find myself screaming out.

Wanting the retreat of the cold.

That someone will reach out for me.

Someone to love and to hold.



I've given up on trying.

Doesn't anyone see me alone?

Drowing in my tears and blood.

Maybe I'll be better off on my own.

Breaking Hearts

Look at me,

Dont you see,

Each crystal tear,

It just can't be.



Look at me,

Watch me break,

Because it's all,

That I can take.



First you say,

You love me so,

Now you've hurt me,

Please let me go.



The pain's too much,

Why cant you see?

You've broken my heart,

Now let go of me.



Keep not a shard,

Not even a peice,

Now let me die,

Leave me please.

Secrets Of a Fool

They say love makes people,

Turn into fools insane.

But what can I say?

Cupid is to blame.



He struck me with his arrow,

Doused me in love.

My heart skipped a beat,

I could fly like a dove.



It felt so good,

To finally open up,

Let someone in,

Find someone to love.



But sadly, he doesnt know.

I try to keep cool,

He doesnt see. So for now,

It's just a secret of a fool.

Hurting Me

I wish he knew,

Just how I felt,

When I see him,

I simply melt.

My heart will flutter,

Like tiny wings,

But he just doesnt see,

How I'm feeling.

I fell a little too fast,

And a little too far.

And when he's not around,

I'm just not up to par.

The pain etches deeper,

Every given day,

I want to scream out,

Hell, I'll even pray.

For the chance to mention,

That he's everything to me.

I really wish he knew.

I wish he could just see.

Those painfull words,

Please, leave me be,

They're eating me up.

He's hurting me.

Whirling and Twirling

She twirls on the soft ground,

Waiting for the rain to come.

The sun is out and warm,

It's time to play and run.

Puddles are prefered,

Rosy cheeks, ruffled dress.

Floweres always smell sweet.

Who would think? Who would guess?

That this little angel,

This sweet little joy,

Is beaten and battered,

Like an unwanted toy.

Whirling and twirling in one spot,

No one ever knows,

That she hides the evidence,

Beneith her soft, pink clothes.

Each night she returns,

To the same hell,

Each day, if she's seen,

Claims that she fell.

The greatest of secrets,

Comes with a heavy weight,

And no one will ever know.

Until it is too late.

Never Going Back

I walk these empty streets,

Black hood shadowing my face.

My arms wrapped around me.

I roam around, I've lost my place.

So these roads open up.

They've become my home.

All I have, is what I wear,

And a noiseless phone.

I still am waiting,

For your call and tell,

Tell me to come back,

And leave behind this hell.

But I wait in vein,

As I pass my reflection,

In the puddled ground,

I see my lifeless complexion.

That isnt who I was,

I was happy and light,

Now I'm dead,

Losing the strength to fight.

Still no word from you,

Waiting in the black,

I'm never going home,

Never going back.

Can't Walk Away

I'm supposed to walk away,

Brush it off, ignore it all.

I'm not supposed to be here.

But I keep on stalling.



For some reason,

I don't know.

I just cant leave you.

I just can't go.



I keep holding on,

Tighter each day.

I keep on fighting,

And you don't push me away.



It would be better if I leave,

And never look back.

But I just can't leave you.

Anything but that.



I'll give you the world,

I'll give you my life.

Just give me a chance,

And it can be alright.



Because you see,

I just can't leave this place.

I can't leave your side.

It's the only place i feel safe.



You're the only one I trust,

No matter what you say.

So please don't make me go.

Please just let me stay.

Deeper Than Sleep

Nothing ever comes out right.

So now it's time to say goodnight.

I'll lock the windows and the door.

Then collapse onto the floor.

Turn on the water and the fan.

So no one hears my scream of pain.

On the bathroom tile floor i sit.

It's time to end all of this shit.

The cold razor blade pierces my skin.

The last I've commited, my last sin.

The blood flows freely as time goes by.

And soon my tears begin to dry.

I wind the key while I no longer weep.

And I'll let the music box lull me deeper than sleep.

I close my eyes, my pulse a slowing drum.

I give up, I say. My time has come.

Goodbye my love. Goodbye my friend.

My life has gladly found its end.

Roses and Tears

He's gone. He's gone.

I quicky slam the door.

The tears start falling.

As I fall onto the floor.

The rose in my hand,

Is nor bud or seed.

The thorns dig in deep.

And I soon begin to bleed.

My heart beats slower,

As realization takes over.

The breaking begins again,

But this time I'll be sober.

Last time was a mistake,

One I shall not make again.

But this just hurts too much.

I'm tired of all the pain.

So help me please, I'm begging.

Heal my shattered heart.

Thorns sharp and pettals soft,

Dont let me fall apart.

Waiting

Everyday I sit here waiting.

As the rain falls around me.

The sadness rises within.

But I got to keep on fighting.



I got to keep on hoping.

But you dont even care.

I still keep holding on.

This is just so unfair.



I have finally broken.

And I dont know what to do.

Can't you see I'm choking.

And I can't even move.



I have finally drown.

I'm screamig for you.

You are my air.

Don't you see it's true.



I have finally died inside.

Waiting for you to come.

Maybe leaving, walking away,

Will bring back the sun.



Maybe giving up,

Is the better way to go.

Erasing you from memory;

Is easier. I know.



I'll just pretend that,

You dont chill me to the bone,

Maybe the tears would dry,

And I can go back home.



I'll just pretend that,

I can't see you anymore.

Maybe all the pain will lessen,

To a simple aching sore.

Silent Goodbye

I waited to see you again.

Sat as the hours went by.

The longer that you were away.

The more darkness took over the sky.

I'd sit and play with a string,

On the jacket you left the night before last.

Remembering all the memories,

Smilling back on our past.

Then finally you showed up.

Finally came back into my view.

But the smile was gone from your face.

The smile I loved and knew.

You seemed shifty as you paced,

Trying to find words to explain.

I knew what was going on, I stood.

And my eyes shone with the pain.

You recognized the signal.

No more words were said.

You turned and left me there.

The silence left me dead.

I sat back down to watch you.

My love who walked away.

I loved you and you hurt me.

There's just nothing more to say.

Time Goes On

Time is gone.

It wont come back.

The clocks goes on,

And the problems stack.

More tears fall.

As time goes by.

A last minute call,

One last try.

Days go past.

And smiles fade.

Things never last.

And prices are paid.

Good things will come,

In their own time.

For now the pain will drum,

A hellish chime.

The clouds will rain.

To hide my tears.

I'll take the pain,

Through these years.

Soon I will be free.

As time moves by.

The clocks chimes three.

And I've got till five.

Last Door Shuts

It's all her fault.

That she knows.

And with that blame.

Takes another dose.



Each cut she feels.

Is deeper than the last.

The scarlet blood drips.

Each reminder of the past.



She's tired of the tears.

And her fake smiles.

No one sees through.

As she walks the miles.



For each cut she makes.

She takes another pill.

The pain is too much.

It just can't be real.



The day will come when;

Too far she cuts.

Then Death will take her.

And the last door shuts.

Lone Wolf

The words in the picture, The Sky Cries For Us:

I wish you could have stayed with me.

Even just a little longer

So you could hold me close and keep me safe.

And sheild me from the sky that cries around us.

Someday, maybe.

You'll return and take my hand.

And lead me through this world of pain a misery.

Back to the light I once knew.

___________________________________________

I'm a lone wolf.

Out in the pouring rain.

And the isolation,

Is driving me insane.



The wind will blister.

The sun will scorch.

And my hope dies out,

Like a smotherd torch.



I'm waiting for the rescue.

Till I can go home.

Till someone comes and;

Takes me to where I belong.



I'm soaked through,

The rain washes me down.

I'm cold, alone, and waiting.

Hoping I wont drown.